Comments on: The Grief Experiences of CNAs

By: Susan Misiorski

Susan Misiorski — Sat, 01 Mar 2008 13:06:15 +0000

This is such an important and sensitive discussion. I have two very vivid memories from working as a CNA in a nursing home that fueled a personal desire to honor both the clients and the workers in a radically different way upon death. First, the place I worked thought that death should be hidden from the residents. The practice that resulted was a process of closing every door to resident rooms between the room of the person that died and the loading dock where the body was taken to a funeral home representative. We were expected to hurry the body out and then act as if nothing had happened to other residents. Every alert resident was well aware this meant someone died and they would not be told who–as if the person never existed. The other memory I have that is equally troubling is entering the room of a resident that I had a very close relationship with and finding the room empty. No one had notified me of the person’s death and that feeling of entering the emptyiness was sickening.

Gratefully, there are nursing home providers all across the country that are involved in a national movement to change the living and working culture inside nursing homes. Very promising practices are emerging for honoring the end of life in a way that supports the workers, the residents, and the families.

The first story I heard was out of a facility in Rochester, NY called Fairport Baptist Home. At Fairport, when a resident dies they sound a chime over the facility intercom. They announce the name of the individual who has passed away, and invite anyone who lives and works in the home to come to a bedside memorial service. They then form a processional to take the elder out the front door–not the loading dock. The staff, residents and families all have the opportunity to share memories, to laugh, to grieve, to honor their relationship with this individual and send a strong message that this person’s life mattered.

For more information on death and dying and the culture change movement, log onto http://www.pioneernetwork.net and check out a booklet titled “The Sanctity of Life, The Sacredness of Death”.

By: Yvonne Atkinson

Yvonne Atkinson — Tue, 26 Feb 2008 21:54:42 +0000

When someone passes away at our facilities we have a memorial table. Just a small round table with a tablecloth and silk flowers.
On the table is a picture of the resident or the obituary framed. A card is left on the table for staff and residents to sign. This is sent to the family.

By: Hadas

Hadas — Tue, 26 Feb 2008 16:54:00 +0000

There’s also a really beautiful story here: http://www.directcareclearinghouse.org written by a recreation aide at a nursing home about grieving the loss of a resident and friend.

“The death of Mr. Kopel was a tragic loss for all of us who knew him during his stay at the nursing home. I was one of many staff members who mourned the passing of this man, who spent his entire adult life battling the demons of his youth.” more…

By: Patti

Patti — Tue, 26 Feb 2008 03:26:54 +0000

Some of this might be about the general feeling that aides are supposed to be “professionals” and shouldn’t have feelings. Ok that was a little extreme but the point is we’re not supposed to get attached. But we’re human and we do. When a resident dies, it’s hard on us. A long term relationship just ended. It should be treated as such and the very human act of grieving should be allowed and expected. And supported. While it shouldn’t interfere with the daily grind, there are ways to “manage” grief and management should step up to the plate more on this.

By: Lori A. Biskner

Lori A. Biskner — Mon, 25 Feb 2008 22:44:16 +0000

I have been in the business for years and have never had any of my employers even recognize that I felt bad or was grieving for a friend. Thank you for even recognizing this, gives hope that we are not just animated.